Now, the Christian doesn’t love mankind the same way he loves God, because he worships God not man, therefore he does not trust human discretion over God’s discretion. And based on commandments, lessons, parables, and testimonies of the Bible and the discernment of the Holy Spirit, the Christian believes that homosexuality is not how God created sexuality to be. The Christian categorizes a deviation from God’s way as a sin against God, and as homosexuality deviates from God’s intended practice of sexuality, he categorizes homosexuality as a sin against God.

The Christian has a love/hate relationship with sin. While they do not want to sin against God, because they know it is bad, they still have the desire to sin in many different ways for many different reasons, as does anyone born into a physical body that is able to be tantalized with various mental and sensual stimuli. The side of the Christian that hates sin is awakened when the topic comes up about advocating or disapproving certain lifestyles as homosexuality–those regarded in the Bible as distortions or indulgences of life–and as the opposition of homosexuality begins to speak or act, it may look like hating the person who sins rather than hating the sin.  This is a mistake.  The reason the Christian’s reaction may come out wrong is because Christians share the same quality all people have: the ability to do wrong.

Another reason this misunderstanding occurs is due to mankind’s natural defensiveness of their actions.  Similarly, they naturally defend their sin.  So the person sinning (who is unconscious of the fact that they are sinning) will oppose anyone that steps in their way.  Even if the person stepping in their way does so out of love, the person sinning will be defensive and react in opposition.

According the the Gospel of Matthew chapter 10, Jesus says the world will hate those who testify in his name.  A reason for this is because God seeks to expose both the righteous and the wrong.  People’s defensiveness about their wrong-doing will cause them to hate the light that shines on their imperfect lives.

The third reason for this misunderstanding is that people who call themselves “Christians” actually do hate homosexuals.  These people are wrong and will be judged by God in the same manner that any unrepentant sinner is: by God’s own righteous justice.

So three wrongs make a big misunderstanding.  A huge misunderstanding.  It saddens me that this misunderstanding exists.  It’s one of the major dilemmas in society today.  It is a major concern of the Church.  And the church has made steps to admit its wrongs, seek truth, and reach out to the homosexual community in love. I’m sure the homosexual community also seeks reconciliation.

Still, a misunderstanding like this will never go away completely.  People will always have problems amongst themselves.  But the important thing is not reconciliation between people, as much as reconciliation between the people and God.  God opened the door of reconciliation by sending Jesus Christ to mend the broken hearts.  In this situation mentioned above, the good news of Jesus seeks to turn people away from their obsessions and toward his very own face.

Hebrews 12:2 says this: “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Isaiah 45:19 I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob’s descendants, ‘Seek me in vain.’ I, the LORD, speak the truth; I declare what is right.

Isaiah 65:10 Sharon will become a pasture for flocks, and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds, for my people who seek me.

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Hosea 5:15 Then I will go back to my place until they admit their guilt. And they will seek my face; in their misery they will earnestly seek me.

Amos 5:4 This is what the LORD says to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live;”

Psalm 14:2 The LORD looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 69:32 The poor will see and be glad— you who seek God, may your hearts live!

2 Chronicles 18:4 Jehoshaphat also said to the king of Israel, “First seek the counsel of the LORD.”

Psalm 4:2 How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame ? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?

Psalm 34:10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Psalm 105:4 Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Amos 5:6 Seek the LORD and live, or he will sweep through the house of Joseph like a fire; it will devour, and Bethel will have no one to quench it.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Luke 11:9 So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Luke 19:10 So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Acts 15:16 “After this I will return and rebuild David’s fallen tent. Its ruins I will rebuild, and I will restore it, that the remnant of men may seek the Lord, and all the Gentiles who bear my name, says the Lord, who does these things” that have been known for ages

Acts 17:27 God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Isaiah 65:1 To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’  All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations-

Potential. Happiness. Success. Love. The assumption that they will bring Life is humorous. We have it the wrong way. We need Life first before we have true potential, happiness, success, and love. True Life brings everything else. And before we have Life, living is just about indulging in half-truths.

What gives Life? I’ll take a stab at it. First it’s the knowledge that we can’t provide our own lives. We can’t save ourselves. We can’t even say we deserve a successful conclusion. Then, in light of knowing the need for a bigger source, we can see that Life is given freely to those who aren’t encumbered by the illusion that satisfaction comes from their own ability. Finally, in history there has never been such a demonstration of Life giving authority as the demonstration made through Jesus Christ. The life, the ministry, the healing, the death, the resurrection, and fulfillment of prophecy were given to the world as a mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional demonstration of God’s life giving authority.

That last one is a kicker.  At the very same time it shatters the illusion of our ability, it reinforces us with incomparable inheritance from God’s loving grace.

The context to recognize the demonstration of this Life-giving-authority is important. The context is being needy and being desperate.  Hearing or reading the words isn’t always enough. A place must be found inside us for the words to resonate. Fortunately, in every living person this place exists.

Upon letting go of the world, and submitting to God, a rebirth takes place. A rebirth that is as much individual as it is corporate, as the world of God’s kingdom exists to fully recognize the need and importance of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It has nothing to do with trends or clichés or Bible-belt or brainwashing or stereotypes.  But has everything to do with a relationship between us and a personal God.

If we get past ourselves and our plans for potential, happiness, success, and love, we will be free for God to provide for us through His ancient demonstration. Life begins at this point. From here, God provides everything.

but it’s imperative for humans to be kept in check by their peers.  without it, inevitable delusion occurs. most likely none that would cause pain or death, but it’s nonetheless damagingly misguided.

i would like to have the remarkable sense that needs no correction. certainly there are people with that sense. but knowing myself – this talent would be my demise, as pride would blind my eyes with a different plank.

so this leaves me content. it makes me smile to know that i will do my thing, not fearing the need for correction from those i trust – those i already respect to hear their advice. i am confident in the discernment to know who’s trustworthy or not.  and i’m humble to see my need for help.

it’s about getting answers.

it’s not about hearing silence and assuming God isn’t there – it’s about pursuing prayer like one would pursue algebra. the outcome grows into a vision of God. excitement is inevitable when you grow into a vision of God; when you know Him, you can get excited. you can stop worrying about coming up short or being a sinner. you can take part in his adventure. as you get better at communicating, you graduate from 4^th to 5^th grade, high school to college. the real-world becomes a playing field for God’s work – you now have the ability to see the punches thrown by evil and you can block them. the punches get weaker and weaker when you have direct communication with God.

evil gets weaker and weaker.

when you pray you hold God to his promises. you say, “God, you give the life that this world can’t give.  How are you different than the world?” you say, “God, this world has strayed from you, but you saved the world.  how do i trust the world in ways i shouldn’t; how can i start trusting you?” you say, “God, you were the beginning and you will be the end, how might i know you so that you will know me?” this is your pursuance.  and from here, you get answers as a result of being in direct communication. it’s not about only believing “something”, while living for something else – it’s about becoming more like God, testing the path, and approving it for the betterment of all things. it’s about realizing the path is good and giving credit where credit is due. prayer is about God’s name becoming famous.

the fame is not only private – it’s public.

pray with desperation. pray without having plan b. pray as if God is the only resort, not the last resort. pray to change the world. pray to be used as a tool to change the world under God’s good ability.

here we go…

God, the father, the provider, the maker, the God who crushes all gods: i pray because i’m desperate on behalf of me, my friends and my family. i don’t pray that they are healthy and well – not yet; i don’t pray that they are safe and secure – not yet. i pray that we come to understand that without you, physical and spiritual life doesn’t exist for any successful reason. i pray that we recognize that despite whether we see you, you are relevant to anything capable of being relevant to us. God, by praying, i hope to see that it makes sense to give you more credit than anything else.

Wait…

despite my dirt, my wandering, my distraction – or the dirt, wandering, and distraction of generations before me – i look to you to bring us back. despite our honoring other gods like sex and pleasure, power and money, i now honor you. i look to honor you more than anything else in my life. not because anyone told me but because i feel your pull and i’m responding…

Wait…

you are the God of wisdom and discretion. although your fame was plain to see, we wanted fame for ourselves. still, your good nature has given us chance after chance to see that you’re real. that is the definition of grace. you have given us the ability to inherit the product of truth. that is the definition of your love. you have provided the means to redirect and quench our hope for life. that is the definition of your forgiveness.

Wait…

i don’t ask that you change my body, i ask that you change the perspective with which i care about my body. hair thinning, teeth not perfect, skin not perfect, such-and-such not big enough, such-and-such not small enough, beard not thick enough, sense of humor not witty enough, intelligence not sharp enough; i pray you diminish how much i care about all these things. i pray you show me they aren’t worth caring for. i pray they stop controlling my mood and my demeanor, and the only voice i hear is truth from you.

Wait…

i don’t ask that you change my situation, i ask that you change my attitude, spirit, and heart. without such effects, i will always have off-color motives. they will not be motives that move toward your kingdom; they will be moving toward what i think is best for me.

Wait…

thank you for giving me permission to come to you without being inside some cathedral. thank you for making my body its own holy vessel, which is equally humble and powerful because of you.

all these things i pray because now i can. i can pray because my connection to you is Jesus Christ, who was more thoroughly a representation of you than any other prophet, nobleman, and martyr. you declared him with the power to be your son when you rose him from the dead. nothing else that claims to be you is as much of you as Jesus. He is a perfect conclusion to your history with us. this was proven – proven by the history of your people. it was rejected, forgotten, ignored, and twisted, but the truth was accomplished for everyone. you accomplished what needed to be done because you know what’s best for us. you have actually been God this whole time, despite our disbelief. thank you for that! our disbelief will never devalue your claims, promises, abilities, history or reality. you will always be you.

Wait…

i take full responsibility in light of my generation or the generations before. i’m no different then them. i need forgiveness for our disbelief. whether we acted in ignorance or in knowledge, we looked elsewhere for pleasure and fulfillment. but those who have faith planted in us know that satisfaction will never come like it comes through you. i ask for forgiveness and i know that you offer forgiveness through your means. the sacrifice through Jesus’ death is a sign of your desire to forgive us. by Him not staying dead, it was the sign we needed to see that you give never ending life in the honesty of Christ.

i desire that life. more than i desire the things of this world, i desire that life. sex will last a minute, but, God, you will last forever. and in your omnipotence, you provide the perfect timing for all the pleasures we seek.

i wish to become more in love with you because of how you reveal yourself to us. for the rest of my days i will rely on you to make me more like the person you want me to be. i know that life after this will be just like the way Jesus explained it: with pure vision and reception of you. i know the gate is narrow to get there because you want the attendants at your wedding to be all about you. if we show up without a heart for you, but instead with self-righteousness, then i wouldn’t blame you for leaving us at the curb. you are so good that i couldn’t blame you for what i think is bad.

Wait…

as for those who never heard about you while living on this earth, i trust that you still know them intimately and you will not let the sinfulness and brokenness of this world rise above your sound judgment. i admire you so much that i ask for a way to reach those people in order so that they might know you truthfully.

God, for those who hear you and ignore you, those who don’t take you seriously, i understand that justice is truth. true truth is beyond my standard of truth. my justice is very lenient compared to the perfection of true justice. i won’t attempt to define that.

i humble myself to know that i will never know all there is to know about you. i humble myself and trust you as our father, the God who will destroy all gods. but what i do know is sufficient; as i grew closer, i came to know you as the Creator God. you proved it to me and made yourself real, and i don’t want to defy you anymore.

i want my potential to be in you. i want my food to be you. i want the glory to be yours.

it is by the name of Jesus that i say this and wait,

Amen

Many, many times over, they’re told that the best can be found by following the directions and answers given by the world, chasing passionate relationships, secure careers, hard work, amenities, goodness, ways of improving and advancing, and outlets of pleasure and comfort. Because the world is so evident and tangible, they go with it, comparing themselves to the society’s standard and doing the things that claim to satisfy. But the world is temporary – even 80 years temporary. The snippets of satisfaction that they find are illusions that say they’re on the right track; this blur of righteousness becomes the extents their lives because it’s all the world is capable of offering. This seems okay because everyone is absorbed in the world, and it’s not like relationships or careers are “bad,” so the constant desire for satisfaction keep them going back for more, more, more, to a point where the desperation for betterment becomes the motivation for their actions. Having better, better, better, keep us waiting in line, if even for death, and it’s worthwhile if it’s a fun ride. Complacency is better than decline. Pleasure today is better than avoiding the consequences of tomorrow. This whole “best” life thing seems to be under control.

Think about it. Even those who commit suicide are avoiding the next minutes of their lives which could be darker and more painful – death is the alternate to the crap here on Earth. Similarly, aspiring gang members do whatever it takes to ensure the initiation into their family, regardless if it’s killing, stealing, or hurting, because their reputation, safety, and security have much better futures compared to the endlessly ghettoed destitution they were born into. It’s no different for ambitious college freshmen who pledge frats, take barking orders from masters, drink handles of vodka, scrub floors, misuse girls, and streak across campus in order to be inducted into a family of brothers. Once accepted, the behaviors which form the bonds continue so that the betterment strengthens. To keep the stories flowing, brothers reach for the stars, find new heights, and hold no regrets. We all love stories.

Meanwhile, the façades and masks become the answers – the directions – to where wholeness is found. Our original needs are replaced with new needs, even though the motivation to find truth has always been there. The world becomes the catalyst for defining need. The people trust insufficient things to fill the holes, instead of God.

Think about the kids who go on killing sprees in high schools and colleges – are they not searching for redemption, justice, peace, fairness, a means to an end? Unfortunately, due to their delusion, they have no other way to fulfill the destiny they’ve deemed for themselves, than to resort to such heinous and ultimately purposeless atrocities. Even though, from the beginning, they are sold out on the cause.

Granted, most people don’t kill anyone for fulfillment, and they don’t plan on it. But deep down, starving with need for the things that make life worthwhile and alive, everyone wants things like beauty, security, purpose, self-worth, strength not because they’re awesome, but because they are the very characteristics of God. We desire then because God is beautiful, secure, purposeful, worthy, and strong. If we knew him this way, we would admire him and follow. But without knowing God, we would still desire the qualities even without having the means to get there. We would resort to skin beauty, security in money or relationships, purpose in careers or service, self-worth in compliments or achievements, strength in muscles or a cold heart. We would go to people for affirmation about the things we create, like style, productivity, talent shows, successes. People would be our judgers and authorities.

If, however, we understood God’s vision for truth, love, purpose, justice, meaning, and security, we’d become gratified simply by having the confidence that he’s real. We’d see that going to the world for the satisfaction that God gives is like going to caffeine for the energy that vitamins give. It’s cutting off the source and depending on a fake. Having God’s vision though, we’d see that God’s standard can never be met by the world’s production, even though independence seems like the best way. We’d see the difference between human goals and God’s goals, human vision and God’s vision, and human judgment and God’s judgment. We might actually see a God that we need, because we will understand that our own efforts will never be good enough.

We would start understanding how God uses the world to provide for us. And with God providing for us, we’ll start enjoying the world instead of needing the world for enjoyment. We’ll know that with true communion with God, we won’t need anything more to survive because the dependence on dying things is destroyed.

-bomber-

It’s hard for us to see it this way, because we only see our motivation for satisfaction, not necessarily our need for God. So we strive on our own. We lean on ourselves. We find our own rewards. Some people even reach a point when they realize that the wholeness and they strive for can never be met; and at these moments, self-destruction and drug/alcohol abuse is the only outlet. For this I don’t blame them – it’s almost logical when you have nowhere else to go. Whatever they get their hands on is assumed to be the next stage in reaching euphoria. Once they touch it, the need for satiation grows. Addiction is a result of the persistence. Agitation is a side-effect of insufficiency. Personalities are molded by the shortcomings of the world, because the reactions are true, but the answers are empty. We’re negative, bitter, resentful, depressed, hateful, and jealous because this is our reaction to an unfair and deceiving world. We establish our own version of good and bad, right and wrong, not because we’re evil but that our human nature latches onto whatever provides a sense of satisfaction. The prince of darkness may just help us laugh and smile, knowing that the illusion of the world says that everything will be okay in the end. Deep down though, we strive to be what only God can be.

Here is the bomb – brace yourselves. Being like God is impossible without having God, but we try. We do things our own way, instead of God’s way, in efforts to get what God wants for us anyway. We never get there because God is the only way of getting to God. Let me rephrase that: Since God is perfect, we can only get to God by first going through Him – having perfection as our representative. This is where Jesus comes in. Boom. Jesus was an extension of God’s perfect form, made human, so that we could readily compare and emulate ourselves to what God had in mind. But having a comparison was not enough to reconnect the world to Himself, because it was defiant, so God’s way of justifying the disconnection was to punish the one He made perfect so that we would never have to prove ourselves. Jesus was meant to be the way we were given satisfaction in God because all we ever needed was to be reconnected to God’s pure form. All we ever needed was the freedom and power to stop defying God.

This freedom we now have in Christ. This power we now have in Christ.

–

Savior.

We hear that word and even use it in a sentence, but it never really had a place on our hearts. Not until now. It’s amazing to think that we still need saving.

If we didn’t have Jesus, we would never know God as the savior. We would just continue to save ourselves from worldly conflicts like being robbed, or from having unwanted children, or from living unloved. We would make up our own saviors to fit within the confines of our supposed needs. The Spirit would be a farce. The world would try to snuff out His realness. Satan would be our best friend. Time would pass, and we would lose the hope of ever knowing the true God. It would be replaced with just a hope for satisfaction.

Hope is funny that way. It always seems to be very positive, no matter what people hope for, but it could still lead to basically no where.

The origin of hope is having a need.

The motivation for hope is having a goal.

The survival of hope is having a path.

The success of hope is having the provider of everything.

If God has supplied everything in Jesus, then in the end, it’s not even about us getting satisfaction; it’s about God becoming famous for what his perfect conclusion has done for us.

Kind of makes you want to capitalize His name, doesn’t it?

Conclusions 

  I have a joke for you:

            Superman was flying around in the sky when he spotted Wonder Woman laying on top of a building, naked, taking in a little sun.  So Superman was like, “Wow, she’s the hottest; I think I can fly down there, have sex with her, and fly away without her knowing.”  He flew around the earth a few times, mulling it over, and came to the conclusion that his super powers could really make this happen.  Zoom!  He flew down there, had sex, and took off at the speed of light, hoping she didn’t notice.  Then, as sudden as this happened, Wonder Woman looked up startled, and said, “Whoa, what was that?”  And The Invisible Man, looked down and groaned, “I don’t know but my ass is really killing me.” 

            You know – a large part of me wonders exactly what our generation is getting ourselves into by zooming around trying everything, investing full throttle into the world around us, assuming that everything will be golden.  These are the times I think about God.  It’s not being ominous; it’s not being too serious.  It’s being truthful.

            People can stand for Jesus yet still do not stand in the light of truth.  This is because people are flawed.  People can stand for truth but still do not stand for Jesus.  This is because God hasn’t cut the world off from his truth.  The difference comes down to what people are provided by; either they’re fueled by themselves and the Earth or by God and his kingdom.  By being fueled by themselves and the Earth, they may live awesome lives, with awesome values, but still never see the reality of God and for this they continue chasing.  In the end, after running the race, they will ask themselves a question: were the sources that I trusted to provide the full truth only giving illusions of reality?  The answer to this question will stir up the consideration of their potential wrongdoings.  Grasping such a concept will point to the need for God’s atonement.

Whether you teach someone or not, you have a strong trust that the instrument is not impossible to understand by others – if it’s explained correctly.  Whether or not a new student believes he or she is capable of learning, you generally have optimism that this person can learn how to play if they dedicated themselves.  And this confidence comes from knowing that the instrument will eventually come alive and make its own sense.  The patterns and consistencies will become fluent, which make music as a whole much easer to comprehend.

            Even though some people are physically unable to play, you still trust that instruments will always be playable despite some unique circumstances.  You know that if someone does not have the mental capacity to pursue the understanding of how the instrument is played, it would make no discount to the beautiful sounds that are potentially produced, and at least they could experience that much (if only from the beating vibrations).  As a musician, you don’t allow your worry for special circumstances hinder your own knowledge and growth, because some things beyond your control.   

            Throughout the day, you can’t help but see music interwoven in the world, which goes unseen by the untrained eye.  Like the way the subway lines in New York are named after the first, third, and fifth notes in two particular major chords.  Or like how the human heart and lungs operate on a special time signature.  You wonder how something so interconnected and essential in life could be so overlooked.  You don’t hate people for not knowing – you have a strangely helpless yet compassionate desire for everyone to enjoy what was always meant to be enjoyed.

It was raining and I looked straight ahead. I yielded her Honda Civic to an intersection, after picking her and her two friends up from a campus party. As she said these words, I began to consider the origin of her comment. Was she referring to the coarseness of my facial hair or the bass in my voice?  The broadness of my shoulders or the stomp in my step?  Or is it at all possible that, perhaps, by some far off chance, she dared to take a shot at the manliness of another particular kind – the kind that hits home a little deeper?

I couldn’t imagine why she would go below the belt; but it wouldn’t surprise me based on my history with this girl.  Under normal conditions, I’d let this go, assuming she was tipsy and showy in front of her friends, but tonight I couldn’t.  There must be some reason she questioned my manliness and then answered her own question with insinuations of doubt. And there must have been some reason her friends were bug-eyed in the backseat, covering their mouths, awaiting my defense.

This all happened within mere seconds, but feeling estranged, I took another moment to think it over; “Okay buddy, what exactly is she referring to here? If she’s referring to what you think she’s referring to, then there can’t be enough reasons to smile and move on. Not with this girl – no way! Sure, she’s pretty on the eyes, but come on pal, what’s so good that you can put up with this abuse?”

The questions rolled around in the mind; the subconscious voice built a case. Though, the timing seemed bad to provide answers. Here I was, driving around like a chauffeur in the dark of the night, listening to the idiocies of three obliterated girls, and I was catching insults left and right… aimed at questionable targets. Beautiful. The quality (maybe quantity?) of my manhood is being challenged and her friends were snickering.

So, what could I say?

I could say, “Whoa! Are you such a perv that you measure a man by the size of his penis?”

Nah. Too presumptuous.

I could say, “Baby, not in front of the girls.”

Nah. Too mysterious.

I could say, “Lady, we’re through!”

Nah. Too hasty.

I could say, “My love, I understand we’re disagreeing here, but dear… there are better ways to resolve an argument than by throwing around insults.”

No, no – too weak. Then, what could I say? Why must I say anything to this silly girl?

Well, I ended up saying something like: “Maria, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about; you’re drunk and ludicrous and you’re showing off in front of your intoxicated and rowdy friends. Settle down or I’ll open this cheap foreign car door and kick you out!”

Okay, you’re right; I didn’t say that last part. But I was thinking it.

Eventually the topic veered off, as they usually do with three scatterbrained girls jammed inside a small car, and the night came to an end much like any other college Saturday.

Naturally, that night I felt a little stirred. I laid awake staring at a blank ceiling, my mind wandered like a curious feline. I couldn’t help tossing around the issues of life, especially after such an enlightening evening. The way it seemed, people live to achieve something–something that will create a sense of inner peace or satisfaction–yet while on the paths, there are arrows and advertisements that claim to have the right way to go. Nothing seems certain except current pleasure, and even pleasure is illusive. Trusting one way over another could eventually bring you right back to the beginning.

Was I together with Maria because it was right, or because I was trying to achieve something?  Was she using me? Was I using her?  Why am I even in college? To pursue a passion, or make money? What is  money that I can base my decisions on?  Ahhhh, what is the point of all this!?

The arrows and advertisements of life come from everywhere–from someone’s opinion to a strong drink, from the power of money to a worldly standard, from personal identity to personal desire. How can we find satisfaction by chasing these things? Where do we go for fulfillment?

There must be an empowered motivation that drives us to fuel themselves with the sources of the world. But what sources try to provide for us?  And how do we know if they are real?

Take my morning coffee, for instance. I spend a good 8 to 10 minutes preparing the goodness of my 12 ounces, sprinkling cinnamon and sugar atop the bronze and toasty liquid. A pinch of salt to mask the bitterness. I enjoy a combination of half-and-half and whole milk, to spread the differential between taste and indulgence. Of course this process even follows a time of deciding where to purchase my brand of flavor-heaven.

Dunkin Donuts has good flavor selection, but the blend is a little weak. Starbucks packs a punch and I love the Toffee Nut flavor, but it’s 3 bucks a cup. The breakfast trucks on Broadway are touch and go, but you can’t beat a buck twenty five for a donut and a cup. Last resort is the Flavia machine in my office, which is quite an amazing operation. Flavia is a self-service, one-stop shop instrument where the customer selects a flavor of drink, inserts the small packet, about the size of a-half-a deck of cards, into a flap that pops out of the front. The process sort of reminds me of a when we used to use cassette tapes. After a series of odd noises and slushing, out comes a steaming cup of fresh black. Amazing. But the quality, in my opinion, leaves some to be desired. Put in a ton of milk, sugar, and cinnamon and it’s tolerable; but you have it everyday, and still, despite the “flavia’s,” you’ll be looking for a change.

There you have it. The constant vision for betterment, extravagance, exposure, and experience, has me wishing for wings so I can avoid the subways. I could continue do this with vacations, girlfriends, food, jobs, friends, sights, sounds, and even life. I could wish that life was always different and better, so that it would fill me in the way I think I need filling. Or I could say that this life isn’t about worshiping my experience, but rather honoring a king much greater than 80 years of life.

The problem isn’t that we enjoy things; this world was made to be enjoyed.  If we weren’t supposed to enjoy anything, then we wouldn’t have skin that feels, tongues that taste, noses that smell, and hearts that pump. The problem comes when we need things for enjoyment. By constantly needing things for enjoyment, satisfaction will always be an illusion.